Thursday, December 4, 2008

An Anger Management Flunkee

Well, I had to go & open my big yap! In yesterday's blog I mentioned that I kinda (sorta) almost (but not quite) nearly got kicked out of anger management class. So many people have asked me to explain what happened that I figured I'd do it here.

Ok, I'll be the first to admit that when I get behind the wheel of a car I turn into another person COMPLETELY. Remember the cartoon we all saw in driver's education class where Goofy gets behind the wheel of a car & turns into a raging maniac named Mr. Wheeler? Well that's me, except that my feet are smaller than Goofy's & my ears are not quite as floppy.

I HATE, HATE, HATE to drive but I must do it in order to get to work. However, like most things I do in my life, I do it FAST. Everything would be FINE except for the IDIOTS who get in my way! My feeling is if YOU aren't in a hurry then get the heck outta my way. I've been known to be (how can I say this?) somewhat VOCAL at people who irritate me. The Hubster suggested that I might want to "consider taking a class on dealing with my little problem". It sounded more like "Take the class if you ever want to drive with me in the car again" but I'm paraphrasing. My first reaction was to punch him in the head but then I thought maybe Anger Management class COULD be beneficial. But only just a little bit.

Anyway, I signed up for Anger Management class at our local hospital & went to the first class. That first night all the "students" had to introduce their self & tell why they were taking the class. I kid you not, I was the ONLY person there who voluntarily signed up! Everyone else had to take the class because they were ordered by either a traffic court judge or a divorce court judge.

One man was a jerk from the first night. For the purpose of this story I'll call him uh........Jerk. Jerk told the class that he was ordered to attend by a judge because he had PHYSICALLY assaulted his boss. He went on & on about how his boss was a weiner & deserved it & how he wasn't sorry at all. It was OBVIOUS Jerk didn't want to attend because his attitude was HORRIBLE.

So, as the weeks went on, Jerk was constantly making snide comments under his breath every time another student was sharing. He would roll his eyes & just act like a general asshole. The teacher had made it clear on the first night that the class was a "safe place" to share & nobody would be ridiculed or berated for sharing. I think the teacher might have been a little intimidated by Jerk (remember I said he was violent!) because she never told him to knock off the comments. Needless to say, I liked this guy less & less as the weeks wore on.

There was a woman attending the class because she was going through a bitter divorce & the anger she felt against her soon to be ex-husband was causing problems. She was usually quiet but one night she shared something personal about her divorce situation. Well, Jerk rolled his eyes & said something like "Typical woman! Never happy & always blames the dude!". Except he used the b-word instead of woman.

At this point, I'd had ENOUGH of Jerk's snide comments. I LOST IT!!! I stood up & yelled at him that he was A JERK & A BULLY & I WAS SICK & TIRED OF HIS CRAP! I've cleaned up the language for this blog so as to not offend any sensitive ears.

The teacher quickly quickly recommended that we all take a break which angered me even more because Jerk could make provoking comments under his breath for weeks & she says NOTHING! But I stand right up to defend another student from his verbal attacks & we all SUDDENLY need to take a breather!

So we all took a break, came back & finished the class with out any major incidence such as say, for example, me ripping Jerk's arm out & beating him with it. The teacher had me address what had made me & I said it THE JERK DID! She informed me that people can't MAKE us angry because its our CHOICE to let ourselves become angry. Or some crud like that. Blah......blah......blah.........

After class everyone was walking out of the building & I heard Jerk say to one guy that he wasn't going to let "some woman" (again, he used the b-word) keep him from coming back because he needed to complete this class to keep his job. I just kept walking but like 5 or 6 people came up to me to tell me they were glad that someone finally put Jerk in his place.

I wasn't about to let Jerk intimidate me so I came the next week, which was the last class. Guess what I see? Jerk & the woman I stood up for were talking, laughing & acting like everything was all good!! I guess they had "kissed & made up". WHAT-EV-ER........

So Hubster likes to tease me about ALMOST being kicked out of anger management class for getting mad at at a fellow student. I tell him to shut up before I slug him............

Filigree Lg

13 comments:

debi said...

lol!!! that's a good one!

Miss Rhea said...

I think I just wee'd my pants laughing !!! He was acting like a What ?? lol !!!! What-ev- Ver !!! lol !!!! :)

Connie said...

Are you some kinda Calif. nut or what, honey?!?!? I guess ya had to be there, huh????
Smooches,
Connie.......your MOTHER!!!!!!! Now, stop this nonsense and get some serious help.........;-)

kath@retromantic antiques said...

Oh my God you are hilarious! You should be writing comedy. I completely can relate to all of this! I too have been known to get a little vocal when driving. I believe my kids way too much while they were in their car seats. They are grown now and not too scarred so I guess its ok...

k

DW Quilt Art said...

Great story, Nancy! And good for you! I think people (i.e. including me) are too quiet sometimes when a good 'wtf' is called for :-) I tend to also suffer from road rage but try to take deep breaths and focus on the music or something :-) Good to see you blogging! Diane

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

Nan! This is quite funny! (except for Jerk...way to many Jerks out there downgrading women)

Deb said...

Hi Nan! I came over from Connie's. I hate to admit it but people get in my way when I'm on the road too. I wish they would just get on with it! If they are Sunday drivers take the scenic route because I'm coming through. As for Jerk, good for you, but I know how frustrating it was to find them near kissing after all the rescuing you did. LOL!!! People! Deb

vickie said...

Nan,you did good, girl!lol

Lisa said...

Oh my gosh, this is too funny! I think you handled your anger very well considering the circumstances. Sounds like the teacher needs to take a few classes of her own...

Katie said...

Uhhmmm, next time tell us how you really feel! :) hee hee love ya'

Anne Fannie said...

Well its probably a good thing we weren't in that class together, because I would have jumped on his back and you could have taken him from the front.
I really enjoyed reading your story. Its probably a good thing we don't live near each other, we could probably get in trouble together! Maybe its all that Mosaic glue we inhale! LOL
Hugs, Ann

Sharon said...

You go girl, I don't think I could have waited that long to tell Jerk what I thought of him. What a riot!

Theresa said...

Oh Nancy,
This is great. When I drive I am so puzzled. Doesn't everyone know it is my road? Can't they UNDERSTAND they are only on the road because of my largesse? I guess it is great that we live in different areas of California. Can't have two Queens of the Road in one place, lol. LOved it, loved it, loved it. Should probably say I identified with it, lol.
Theresa @ Cottage Violets